Work In Progress

First chapter of my second book, A Devotion of Dads, awaits any comments and suggestions. Feel free to comment here, or send me an email. 

First chapter of book two is still under construction, I’m afraid. Revision number three, but I’m happy with how it’s taking form. I’ve received some good feedback from an agent so…onward and, well, onward. Will re-post first chapter when I’ve figured out how the book should end. I’ll also send out a newsletter when that blessed day comes.

It’s a long and winding road.

 

25 Responses to Work In Progress

  1. steve Capper says:

    The story is fine but I don’t like the title. The alliteration makes it sound shallow, farcical maybe. And the character being named “Berk” immediately puts me in mind of Burke and Hare, two notorious body snatchers, but this probably isn’t important.

  2. ajcap says:

    I was thinking the same thing about that title. This book started out as a light hearted whodunit but has morphed into something a little darker so I will re-think the title. I am, admittedly, a sucker for alliteration. A gaggle of geese. A bother of bodies. A house of horrors.

    I’m sure when I land an agent and/or publisher, they’ll have suggestions.

    As for Berk, it’s like naming your baby. Every name reminds you of someone you know and didn’t like in highschool.

  3. Linda says:

    Good story..I was able to visualize quite well

    • ajcap says:

      Thanks, Linda. I know this isn’t your favourite genre so it’s a good sign I’ve written at least these first opening lines well enough. Cheers!

  4. Carole Mertz says:

    Great suspense-building. Loved it! (As one fellow LRWG-er to another.) I like the “modern” tone to the language.

    • ajcap says:

      Thanks, Carole, for taking the time to let me know! Glad you liked it. Finishing up the last couple of chapters, then I need to do a whole bunch of polishing. Then, the nasty part. Querying agents. Blah.

      And I should check in at the forum today. Haven’t in awhile.

      Cheers, Amanda

  5. S. J. Crown says:

    I’m hooked. What happens next? My only nitpicky comment, perhaps the nitpickiest in the history of the world, is that I would say I pulled in to our new old driveway that leads to our new old house, assuming it still does. If it doesn’t, then using led or used to lead might be more clear.

    • ajcap says:

      Thank you, Stan, that is exactly the kind of nit-picking I need. Sentence corrected and updated and if you ever come across anything else, don’t hesitate to point it out.

      Glad this segment hooked you. I’ve put the book away until after Christmas. It’s finished, but needs rewrites so I’ll have a fresh look at it in the New Year.

  6. Tammy Rizzo says:

    Coming to this in February, when you’re probably already polishing it, I can tell you it certainly grabbed me right from her sighting her gun on the scale! I like the ‘chatty’ tone, and the way you bring in details. It was very easy to visualize the setting and the action, and the familial dialogue was very believable. I look forward to reading more of this!

  7. Barb Taub says:

    Hi Amanda —
    I heard about your novel from Mary Rosenblum so I’m happy to get the chance to take a look at the opening. Wow! I love every word, but especially the picture of threatening the bathroom scale with a loaded Glock (which I point out, in the poor unarmed scale’s defense, adds about 2 lbs to Mabel’s weight. I’m just saying…).

    I can’t wait to read the whole book. Please let me know as soon as it’s available. If it’s anything like your fantastic beginning, you’re going to have a hit!

    • ajcap says:

      Hi Barb!
      I will be more than happy to take your money…oops, that is so crass. Mary says I must remember to act nice…more than happy to let you know when my book is available. AND good point about the extra weight! That should make Mabel slightly less grumpy. One of the hardest things for me to write about is guns. I know nothing about them except what I find on the internet.
      I think we should be able to work out an exchange. Use the old barter system; I’ll give you a copy of A Bother of Bodies if I can get a copy of Null City in exchange.

  8. Danielle says:

    I like the characters here. I enjoyed reading what you’ve posted and want to read more. Are you looking for an agent, self-publishing, or what?

    • ajcap says:

      Hi, Danielle! Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for stopping by. I was planning on self-publishing but Poison Pen Press is having a contest so I think I’m going to submit my book and see how it does. If I don’t hear anything from them by May 31st, when PPP announces their winner, I’ll look into self-publishing.

  9. Danielle says:

    Good morning, Amanda!

    I’m hoping to finish mine by the time they have their contest next year (if they have one). Submitting it that way will get a quicker response than submitting the normal way, according to their submissions page. I’ve got a long way to go before I have the first draft completed, however. I’ve got about 20k words so far, and a lot more story to go. I’m getting there though.

    Please let us know if you decide to self-publish. I DO want to read your novel.

    Good luck with the contest!

    • ajcap says:

      Danielle, that’s the smart thing to do. Have a time goal in mind and work towards it. That way, it will be the best it can be instead of a rush job. My only words of advice would be to work consistently on your ms. Don’t think you have all kinds of time, the deadline is a year away. Get in the habit of spending an hour, two hours, whatever you can, on your writing. Set your goal to finish the book at Christmas, then plan on re-writes. Do you have an outline?

      I will post on my website any news about the contest and future plans for my book. And thanks for the good luck wishes, much appreciated.

  10. Danielle says:

    oops! I didn’t realize there was a question here. I do not have, what I’d call a formal outline, but I do jot down notes of what I expect to happen. Of course, that changes with the wind. I’m moving along on my first draft. I’m working with Mary on it. I’d love to have it finished before the end of summer.

    Plus, I’m working on my website, learning Adobe Photoshop/InDesign to prepare in case I DO self-publish. I want to give doing my own cover a shot. If it’s too much, and I decide to self-publish, I’ll find a pro.

    Are you querying agents?

    • Danielle says:

      I’m replying to my reply. I just read that you’ve queried an agent. Disregard my question.

      Good luck with your search.

    • ajcap says:

      Good move, Danielle, to enlist Mary to help you out. Smartest thing I ever did.

      The whole publishing dilemma gives me a headache. I became so befuddled with everything involved with self-publishing I decided querying agents couldn’t be any worse. I’ve only just started querying so I’ll let you know how that works out. Let me know how you do with the Photoshop and Design. I may give that a shot myself, kind of sounds like fun.

  11. Danielle says:

    Yes, the self-publishing is a lot to absorb. You’ve already got your blog/website going. You’ve also received good reviews on Kill Zone, so you’re off to a good start. I think, if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll get where you want to be. Just my opinion, for what it’s worth.

    • ajcap says:

      All I’m really doing is putting one foot in front of the other, Danielle, but your opinion, and everybody else’s who chimes in on this blog of mine, is very valuable and a BIG reason I keep the feet moving. Thanks!

  12. Jan Thompson says:

    Now I’m thinking I should get a gun for my bathroom scale, as the verbal threats are just not working. I want to read more!
    Jan

    • ajcap says:

      Hi Jan! Don’t waste your money on a gun, just throw the scale out the window.
      I’ll let you know when the book will be available…soon as I know. :)

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