For women only. Or…

…men with daughters. In fact, especially for men with daughters.

Kate Middleton still looks pregnant. She had His Royal Highness George a few days ago, I don’t remember the exact date, I won’t be sending gifts though I am very happy for the young couple. What doesn’t make me happy is all the twittering and posting about how long it’s taking Kate to get her figure back.

Below is an excerpt from a letter written by a very wise woman named Emily Wierenga. The link to read the full letter is after this excerpt:

Your body’s been stretched nine-months long to hold an eight-pound highness, and it’s been pushed and prodded and bruised over hours of labor and there you stood shining in a blue dress, patting your son and cherishing him with new-mother eyes.
And the world exploded with tweets and posts about your postpartum body and I cried for you. I cried for our ignorance and for the pressure you are facing. And I fear for you. The years ahead and the toll of being in the public eye. I fear you might stop wearing blue dresses that celebrate your womanhood. I fear you might begin to grip your crown too tight. I fear you might become a disordered eater as Princess Diana was, for all of the pressure of a society that condemns a new mother for her mummy-tummy.

http://www.emilywierenga.com/2013/07/a-letter-to-kate-middleton-on.html?m=1

Seriously, the fact that people, mostly women, are amazed that she would show herself looking anything but svelte makes me sick with worry. Who are these women, putting such pressure on other women, because they aren’t twig thin? And what kind of pressure are they putting on themselves?

Yes, I’m all for being weight conscious. Eating right, exercising, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, one that doesn’t include eating bags of potato chips EVERY night in front of the television. But Kate just had a baby. An eight pound, some ounces big baby boy. Give her a break.

Please read the letter. Emily conveys my feelings about the whole debacle better than I.

And then there is this link from the blog Hope Ave. I’m not going to tell you anything about what is in this link. Just read the damn thing. It’s not long.

http://hopeave.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/how-to-talk-to-your-daughter-about-her-body/

And then, finally, this last link. My favourite. It’s actually an advertisement but I love it because, A; it’s funny; B; it’s a topic that makes men cringe, and C: it’s smart. A helluva business venture that I’m amazed no one else thought of before now. The folks from Dragon Den would have loved it.

http://jezebel.com/tiny-tampon-queen-stars-in-best-menstrual-marketing-eve-952689744

I guess what I’m trying to get across to anyone who reads this blog, in my very clumsy way because I really am better at fiction than I am with real life, is that no topic should be avoided between a parent and their child, boy or girl. Start the habit while they are young and continue it for the rest of their lives. Take them for long walks, that end up at a bench somewhere, and even if the only thing that is bothering them is why they’re only allowed pop on the weekends, talk about it. And, even more important, listen.

And don’t leave it up to the child to bring up whatever is bothering them. Not all children are vocal, especially when they become teenagers. Talk to them even if you are embarrassing them, and yourself. Even if they push you away, keep trying.

Because, sometimes, that’s all you can do.

I sincerely wish I’d been given this advice thirty years ago, when I started raising my step-children. It’s amazing, or maybe it’s luck, how well they all turned out. Could be they’re just smarter than your average bear. Whatever. Still wish I’d have done some things differently.

Many, many, thanks to Angela, my niece by way of my husband. She puts these links on her Facebook page in an effort to educate us all on how to be more compassionate and loving. For her, it comes naturally.

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2 Responses to For women only. Or…

  1. linda cassidy says:

    Yes, my dear sister, the world would certainly be a better place, if only. There was a similar article in our local paper – or was it the Toronto Star – doesn’t matter the thought was the same. I will read all of the links you sent and hope others will too.

    Definitely kudos to Angela but also to you for making sure those of us who are not – and refuse to be – on Facebook (call me a dinosaur) get to read them.

    • ajcap says:

      Not to worry, Sister dear, I will keep you up to date on anything I think might interest you. FB can be tedious. And yes, I must thank Angela personally. Hopefully she will be up to visit this summer some time.

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