My new love.

Posted on April 18, 2013 by ajcap

His name is Brad Parks.     

I can’t remember where I first heard his name (I browse so many sites), but he’s everything I want in an author. Smart. Organized. And, best of all, laugh-out-loud funny. I finished “The Good Cop”, the fourth in Parks’ series, and immediately ordered his first, “Faces of the Gone”. It’s all I can do…it’s taking all the limited will-power I have…to finish this blog before I dive into that book. I should spend some time working on my short story, it has a deadline (Ohp, that’s Carter’s cat’s name…will smile every time I type ‘deadline’ now), of May 1 but, like I’ve already pointed out, my will-power is limited.

Only those who really love to read will understand the high of finding a writer who fulfills everything you enjoy in a book. And there were a couple of times during “The Good Cop” that I felt impending disappointment. That high happens so rarely, I admit to pessimism.

First, there was a typo a couple of pages into the book. Those don’t usually bother readers, but they do irritate writers. Readers will forgive typos. They tolerate flawed copy editors. Writers expect, especially from New York editors and publishers, perfection. Not fair, I know, but it’s certainly what I expect. Fortunately, there was only the one and I forgot about it two pages later.

Then, as I neared the end and was doing  my best not to skim because that’s what happens when all I want to know is…what happens?…I worried that the denouement was heading for a contrived resolution. And I hate those. When an author wraps everything up with a hasty coincidence. BUT MR. PARKS DIDN’T!  Let me just say that Mr. Parks is a wonder at creating characters that are believable, constant, and lovably corrupt.

So, for those friends of mine that love to read a good mystery, and that’s most of you, though I’m thinking mainly of Val, Mar, Sis, LindaMS, and Barb, go here: http://www.bradparksbooks.com/good-cop.php and order this book. You won’t regret it, and I’d love to hear your opinion on it.

Now, I  must go. It’s pouring rain, Frank is at work, the nook is charged, and the tea is brewed. Life is good.

 

 

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Creativity. I’m gobsmacked.

Posted on April 12, 2013 by ajcap

My cousin, Stephen, wanders all over the English countryside and gets paid for it. Lucky lad. He has tried to explain to me what he does for a living, but I don’t listen. Something to do with electronics and televisions and maybe surveillance of some sort, but really, I don’t listen. He talks fast and has that accent; it’s tiring just trying to follow him. So, unless he’s talking about something I’m interested in, like music or family or if he’s entertaining me with his wit (and then I listen very hard), I don’t pay much attention to him.

He does send me the best pictures, though. He has that going for him. I especially like this one:

Someone in Bristol is very talented. Could be more than one artist involved, and I would assume a lift of some sort was used, but whatever effort was needed to get the equipment in place, it pales next to the creativity of the artist. Or does it?

Everyone has a gift. I really believe this. The gift of the aforementioned artist is obvious. Those capable of organizing events in which an artist’s work is displayed are also gifted. Craftsmen who create tools that allow an artist to paint are gifted. Sure, maybe the artist went to the local hardware store and bought the mass-manufactured tools, but, still, someone is in charge of ordering supplies for this store and they could be very good at their job. That is their talent.

Stephen is very talented. Anyone can point a camera, or cell phone, and take a picture, but it takes the eye of an artist to see a worthy picture. One of my favourites that my cousin has sent me over the years is this picture of Dorfold Hall. Or Dorford Hall. Decipherable handwriting is not anywhere near one of Steve’s gifts.

 

Taken before digital, I believe. A family trait seems to be never scribbling the date on the back of pictures. I’d say in the 80′s because film was used (What? Yo, Ma, what’s film?), so I had to scan the picture in order to paste it. But I love that Steve used black and white film. Gives the Hall that ghostly appearance I associate with all old buildings in England. You can almost pick out long-dead faces in the windows. And I like how he framed the manor. Digital shots allow you to take myriad pictures and then delete the ones you don’t like. Film, and I’m not even sure 35mm film is still available, is a different beast.

Never satisfied, I complained to Steve that I prefer pictures with people in them. I like people. As long as they’re not trying to interact with me so let me rephrase that last sentence. I like people from a distance. So he sent me this picture;

If you’re not familiar with England, or the English, this picture might not be as heartwarming for you as it is for me. The fellow off to the right of the main subject, the fellow walking along with his back to the camera and his hands clasped behind him, makes me smile every time I look at this picture. Because it’s always how I see, in my mind’s eye,  my dad or my uncles whenever we have strolled together during our many nature walks or jaunts through city streets. Hands clasped behind backs and their head up, taking in their surroundings with not a lot of conversation.

Blackpool. I think I may even have been there when this picture was taken. Love the English. Sitting on the beach with their coats one. I like the depth of field in this picture. The wall that leads your eye to the older gent. The blurry but obvious images of Blackpool in the background. This picture won’t speak to everyone but it does to me. Yells, actually. “Oi. When’s your next visit, then?”

Soon.

Some never recognize their talents and that is truly sad. Even if you are aware of your gift, or gifts, and prefer not to share them with the world, that is the gift owner’s prerogative. But to go on thinking you are without any talent whatsoever is a very sad way to go through life. There is something you are good at. May not be as good as others, but still better than most. And if you spend hours and hours at this talent, work with it and enjoy it, you will get recognition, even if it’s simply by friends and family.

I’m sure there is at least one person in Bristol who is very proud of the above graffiti and the artist who created it. Even if it’s only the artist him, or her, self.

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Hey! Where’s the funnies?

Posted on April 1, 2013 by ajcap

 

 

 

 

 

I cancelled our local paper. A couple of Saturdays ago I opened up the morning edition and headed straight to the third section, where the funnies always are. Except they weren’t. In fact, they weren’t in any section and I know because I spent a good couple of minutes frantically searching for them. Instead, I found a whole page of puzzles. Word games. Sudoku, even.

I don’t want to preserve my brain. It’s not worth the effort. Never was much to begin with. Sure, I aced English in high school but flunked History, Science, and Math. Had to go to summer school for math, if the truth be known, so why revere the organ that gives me the most problems? It’s my imagination that I value, that I want to exercise and cherish. And you know what else I want? Senselessness. For five minutes a week, the length of time it takes me to read the funny pages, I don’t want to think about how screwed up is the world outside my yard. I want bright coloured paper with funny cats and silly dogs. I want someone to at least make an effort to make me smile.  The rest of the news certainly doesn’t.

 

 

Thing is, our paper is not that big. It’s not like the editor-in-charge had to cut the cartoons out because they were taking up space needed for much more vital news. Not a lot happens in our town. So, the only other conclusion I can come up with is, it must be money. Coloured cartoons are expensive to publish? Sad.

When the paper called to ask why I wasn’t renewing my subscription, I told them; no funnies, no monies. I don’t think the girl who called realized I was serious, at first, but it must have dawned on her during my two minute tirade on how hard it must be for a cartoonist to make a living at what they love to do, and how it may be the only thing they are good at, and newspapers may already be a dying media but part of their problem could be they’re taking out the only interesting part of reading the Saturday edition and keeping the crap that makes us grumpy. What will the kids, the young ones and the old, have to look forward to, if there are no Saturday funnies in the paper and the television cartoons are replaced with reality shows? Blah. Don’t even want to think about it.

Cartoonists are a dying breed and the world will be a dull place without them. Berk Breathed, Bill Watterson, where are they now? What are they doing? I sure hope they haven’t got desk jobs. I miss them.

I must go and Google. Meanwhile, support your local cartoonist. Give him, or her, a hug.

 

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It’s done, it’s gone, I’m moving on.

Posted on March 26, 2013 by ajcap

My completed novel, A Bother of Bodies, has been submitted to the Poison Pen Press mystery contest; I can no longer fiddle with it. Hallelujah. Because really, it was time I left it alone. But, easier said than done. I was rearranging furniture right up to the moment I hit the submit button.

Winner will be announced May 31st of this year, and I will do my best to forget all about it and move on to book number two in my Mabel series. This book will be so outlined, so organized, so well-thought out, it will make book number one look like…well…like it was the first book I ever wrote.

I’ve learned many things while writing all 86,330 words of my first novel. First and foremost? Take advice. Get help. Learn how to do it. Even Tiger Woods gets help with his putting when he needs it.

If you want to write, I’m going to assume (I can do that…it’s my blog), you like to read. So read. Start with Stephen King’s, On Writing, a must-have for every writer. Then download some books from here, http://www.jamesscottbell.com/styled-7/index.html. James Scott Bell also blogs at The Kill Zone. A very helpful fellow. There are also free sites, such as Hiveword, that will help you organize your creativity and harness your imagination and, according the e-mails I’ve been receiving, James Scott Bell, and Mike Fleming from Hiveword, are developing a program called Knockout Novel that sounds interesting. Check it out here – https://hiveword.com/knockout

If you want to be a pantser, that’s fine. In fact, better than fine. I will always consider myself to be a pantser. But you’ve got to know the rules before you can break them. Learn them, then break them.

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Me? The Liebster Award? I’d like to thank everyone who voted for me…

Posted on March 13, 2013 by ajcap

Actually no one votes on the bestowing of the coveted Liebster Award. Except maybe the fellow blogger doing the bestowing, which, in my case, is Barb, http://barbtaub.com/ and I’m glad she did. It’s a fun idea for a post and does direct traffic to your blog. Always a good thing.

It can only be granted to blogs with less than 200 followers and it consists of answering eleven questions asked by a previous winner. So Barb sent me these questions, and I would strongly suggest you check out Barb’s link, provided above, and read about her favourite food. She’s not really sure what it is, but her description is tantalizing. And Barb is right about this award being nothing more than a glorified chain letter…but, still. Kind of fun.

  • What was your first car?

A cream coloured Toyota Corolla. I’m thinking it was a 1967 model. Hot stuff. Needed to pull the choke out to get it started, and that didn’t always work, but, at sixteen, I thought it was the most beautiful automobile ever built in Japan.

  • What was your last brush with the law?

Speeding tickets. Blah. Why build an Autobahn-like road and then post a 50 km/hr speed limit? To entice speeders, obviously. Money in the city coffers. May have to rant about this at a later date.

  • Star Wars or Star Trek?

Star Wars. Love special effects.

  • Dr. Who or Dr. Laura?

Dr. Who. Not even a close call.

  • Worst movie ever?

The Wizard of Oz. The original, and probably any remake. I really don’t see what the fuss is about.

  • Who would you like to have a conversation with at a cocktail party?

Harper Lee.

  • Best guilty pleasure ever?

It used to be smoking but I managed to give that up altogether six years ago. I would have to say spending more money on footwear than I should.

  • Who would play you in the movie?

I used to like Goldie Hawn but I think she’s had work done and she looks funny now.  Would it be the younger me or the now me? Rule out Dolly Parton either way. I’ll go with Jennifer Aniston just because I wish.

  • What is something people don’t know about you?

My friends know everything about me. I’m an open book…a tap with no filter. Most people, up until recently, didn’t have any idea about my writing asperations.

  • What is the one thing you can’t live without?

My sense of humour. If I didn’t have that, I’m pretty sure I’d be insane.

  • As a child (or now!), what did you want to be when you grew up?

A teacher. Still wish I would have gone through with it, but I was lazy and hated school. And that, children, is irony.

MY NOMINEES FOR THE LIEBSTER AWARD ARE: keeping in mind I have no idea how many followers these bloggers have…

http://sjcrown.com/

http://www.daleivansmith.com/

http://karolinebarrett.com/

http://ecreith.com/

AND MY QUESTIONS:

  • Scarier — books or movies?
  • What animal conjures up your best memories?
  • If you could live anywhere in the world, it would be…?
  • Snow and sun or grass and sun?
  • How much would you pay to go to Mars? the Moon?
  • If you could bring someone back from the grave for one day, who would it be?
  • Your most hated household chore?
  • You’re stuck on an island with only one radio channel. Talk? Rock? Country? Jazz? Blues? Other?
  • Favourite musical instrument.
  • A movie star you’d like to take to a movie.
  • The Big Bang Theory or American Idol?

 

 

 

 

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Sucking blood.

Posted on March 6, 2013 by ajcap

Scott Haworth has written a very entertaining vampire book. And you have no idea how difficult it was for me to type that last sentence.

Movies, television shows and books about vampires have never much interested me. I’ve never read Dracula. I did read The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice, and though I enjoyed it, never felt the need to read any more of her other books. Just not my first choice of reading material, and with so many new and talented mystery writers selling ebooks for $5.00 or less, I’m never without reading material in my genre of choice.

But every now and then a writer friend will send me an e-mail, letting me know their book is available, free, on Smashwords, or on sale at Amazon, and if I’ve enjoyed their previous books,  I’ll download it and step out of my comfort zone for a day or two. I’m certainly glad I did with Dark Moonlighting.

This book is a terrific spoof on vampires. From the humourous dedication to the titillating epilogue, I was smiling throughout. There were parts that made me say, right out loud, “oh, c’mon”, but then I’d realize how well Scott had cemented his tongue to his cheek and I’d laugh, nod, and agree.

Maybe true vampire aficionados will be insulted at Scott poking fun at their vampire heroes. They should take comfort in the fact that vampires are not the only fodder for this author’s latest book. He also pokes fun at some of the more popular television series, such as Bones, House, and Law and Order.

Because I’m not a vampire fan, I found myself queasy at the whole idea of blood sucking…which, of course, happens quite often in vampire books. But what got me past those scenes were Scott’s explanations of the vampire virus. I don’t want to give too much away because I’m hoping the legions of readers following my blog :) will download Dark Moonlighting (free at the moment from Smashwords) and let me know what they think of the book. Scott is making me re-think the whole vampire myth to the point where I found myself wondering if they possibly could be walking amongst us. Really. I’ll never be able to look at pale people the same way. And, come to think of it, why are vampires anemic-looking? You’d think with all that blood in them, they’d be downright rosy.

Scott is on FB at www.facebook.com/ScottHaworthFans. Check him out. And this is the marketing blurb for Dark Moonlighting:

Nick Whittier, having been alive for six centuries, has had plenty of time to master three professions. In a typical week he works as a police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers, pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick’s three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his terrible secret.

Dark Moonlighting is humorous and aimed at the adult market. It explores four of the biggest clichés in popular culture, and it pokes fun at a number of popular television shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliché. For example, the average human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must immediately urinate afterwards.

 

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Humour in the face of pond scum

Posted on February 25, 2013 by ajcap

http://barbtaub.com/2013/02/25/thanks-for-the-2-million-mr-hague/comment-page-1/

Dear friends and family:

Please take a moment to check out the above link. Not only is Barb a funny and talented writer, she has a warning for all those too naive to know better. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is balderdash. Scammers, the bottom-feeders of humanity, are out to bilk the innocent of their hard-earned money or steal their identity. They want  your personal information and they are everywhere.

Mabel’s mother is a convicted scammer. Not a nice lady at all.

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Blah. Winter. Writing frustration. And update on Maple.

Posted on February 21, 2013 by ajcap

When the snowbanks beside your driveway are taller than your tractor, you’ve got to say to yourself, “I’ve had enough of this nonsense.”

Frank loves his John Deere. He’s had it for over thirty years.  It blows snow and cuts grass and has never let us down. We should do a commercial.

Even if you like winter, and I do, right around this time of the year I tend to open the blinds in the morning and my first thought when I see the beautiful, tall evergreens, laden with glistening white snow under a full sun in a big blue sky, is…BLAH. So what. Whatever.

I am out of work and locked in the house due to snow and a recuperating dog http://wp.me/p2DycD-8A. Opportune time for writing. I should be writing a thousand words, at least, a day.

Haven’t written a damn thing. Did some lusterless scene re-writes and the lackluster shows. I was boring myself.

Something needed to be done. Fortunately, I know myself pretty well these days and I recognized the signs of SASSY (Short Attention Span Syndrome, Y’know) and FW (Winter is the second word).

The answer, for me, is multi-tasking. I need a minimum of three projects to work on if I plan on accomplishing anything. Once I build a mental block about one project, to the point where even thinking about it shuts down all brain activity, I end up on the couch, with ice-cream and potato chips, watching back-to-back episodes of House Hunters.

So one of the new tasks I’ve undertaken is Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/

This is how I will be publishing my book so my plan is to break my book up into manageable chunks. I will work on three chapters at a time to make them perfect and upload them into Smashwords. That will  be a nice break as I learn how to do that. Work on the next three, and repeat.

That is my plan. If anyone has hints and tips on working with Smashwords, I would be more than happy to hear them.

Meanwhile, I will also be a nursemaid to Maple. It’s only been one week since her surgery and I’m already have a difficult time keeping her from jumping and frolicking. Supposed to keep her quiet for another seven weeks before I can even start her rehab; it is not going to be easy. She’s not used to being on a leash, never mind a short leash, but what breaks my heart is the fact that, though she doesn’t understand why I’m forcing her to stay inside when she’d rather be outside cavorting in the snow, she still loves me anyway. I can only hope she understands that I’m doing it for her own good and things will eventually get back to the previous wonderful mayhem her life used to be.

Meanwhile, a short leash is necessary, as is an Elizabethan cone, to keep her from licking and gnawing at her staples. Contrary to popular belief, a dog’s saliva contains a lot of bacteria. I still welcome her kisses, but not to the point where she licks away a layer of skin.

So, I’m off to play with Smashwords. It doesn’t cost me anything, won’t until I start selling books, so I’m looking forward to the learning process.

At the same time, I’ve got to tell you, it’s rather intimidating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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God and Gravol

Posted on February 15, 2013 by ajcap

I don’t travel well. Automobiles, planes, boats; as soon as I get on board any of them, I miraculously renew the faith that sometimes eludes me. I pray constantly. I talk to God, make deals with Jesus, and promise to return to church if only I can make it to my destination safely. So far, it has worked.

Last Monday, Feb. 11, Frank and I took Maple to see a surgeon at Michigan State University in East Lansing. Had to be done. Maple is only four years old and she was going lame. Didn’t matter that the anticipation of spending five hours, each way, in a vehicle during the Ontario/Michigan winter season is all it takes to make my bowels howl. Seriously. An indelicate subject to be sure, but reality nonetheless. My bowels are very vocal. Especially when it’s quiet.  I like to think they’re just friendly. Trying to communicate with anyone and everyone who happens to be close to me when I’m experiencing a panic attack.

Didn’t matter what the car ride would do to my insides; my dog needed me. So away we went. And, due to my incessant praying and Frank’s very capable driving skills, we made it safely there and back. The weather was snowy/rainy both ways, but it wasn’t accumulating on the roads, which made me very happy, but…whenever we passed a vehicle, especially transports…we were blinded by spray and slush. My poor husband. He is so patient with my paranoia. “Maybe you could use another Gravol,” he’d say, whenever I braced my feet against the floor boards, with one hand on the roof of the Jeep and the other against my door, in preparation for what I was sure was to be a vehicular blood bath that only I, and maybe Stephen King, could possibly envision.

Thing is, I really enjoy being in different places (as long as I’m behind locked doors when it gets dark), and I really enjoy meeting new people (you can’t beat American waitresses. They are the best). I just don’t like getting there.

The veterinarians and students at Michigan State were compassionate, informative and patient. Jeremy, the student vet, called me regularly to let me know what was going on with Maple and how she was doing. She was diagnosed with Cranial Cruciate Ligament Rupture and needed a procedure called Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy.

You can’t see the incision from this viewpoint, but you can see her eyes. The devotion. The trust. The “I hurt but I know you’ll take care of me”. Enough to break your heart.

So, bowels be damned. Put your trust in God and Gravol and get on with life.

I do love trains, though. Pity you have to be a freight car full of lumber to get a ride on one up here in Northern Ontario.

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Failure is not fatal.

Posted on February 9, 2013 by ajcap

How do you define success? Take this picture on your left (please try to ignore the lack of apostrophes. Apparently dogs are lousy with grammar);

The blinds are wrecked, the windows will need cleaning and there will be pillow cases to wash…but the dog (I’m thinking a young boxer) did get the fly. Success?

Sure. He accomplished his goal.

But I’m pretty sure his human won’t be pleased. Boxer pup may even be punished. Still a success? I think so.

So now you’re a new writer and you publish a book. No one buys it except your mother. Can the author claim success? Sure. You set a goal to write a book, and you did. If your goal was to write a bestseller, than no, you didn’t succeed. Keep trying.

Where am I going with this? Not sure. This is what happens when I ramble, but I’m thinking I’m trying to make some point. Like, maybe, set achievable goals. Take small steps. Don’t jump in over your head and then be upset when you drown.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.        Bill Gates

There was a lot of publicity about Mr. Stephen Glass when, as an ambitious young reporter with a very promising future, it was determined Mr. Glass was making up news and attempting to pass it off as true. Newspaper reporters are not supposed to make things up; they are supposed to report facts. So, he was fired and publicly denounced. Trounced, as a matter of fact. His fellow reporters showed no mercy.

He decided to go to law school. Go figure. But, even with a law degree, no one would hire him. He had shamed himself and his profession. It didn’t matter how many times he apologized or how many times he hung his head and admitted he was wrong. Now, Mr. Glass had no one to blame but himself. He knew what he was doing when he compromised the ethics of his profession. He had taken his brilliant future and turned it into no future at all.

Then, his resume ended up on Mr. Paul Zuckerman’s desk. And Mr. Zuckerman, an American lawyer, hired Mr. Glass because: “I’ve always found brilliance untempered by failure is purely arrogance but brilliance that has overcome failure can be truly useful to your fellow man”

In other words, if you can reach the height of success, what you consider success, then be knocked down to lower than where you were to begin with, and then, instead of wallowing  in self-pity, you summon the courage to work your way back up to the top…you will be a better person because of it. Gives me hope for Tiger Woods.

I admire Mr. Zuckerman. I also admire these guys;

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.    David Brinkley    Any writer with rejection slips can identify with this quote.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.          Bill Cosby            Because you can’t. Just can’t.

And finally,  my favourite;

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.      Winston Churchill

Failure is not fatal. I like that.

 

 

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